I’m sitting in my condo for the second time in a row with my weekend plans foiled by the snow. This time it wasn’t the DC snow that foiled my plans though. It was snow in of all places HOTlanta! Were it not for Atlanta’s inability to deal efficiently with two inches of snow. I’d be in route to the big easy and the port city* for some pre-Mardi Gras/post Saint’s Super Bowl win partying followed by recovering over beignets at Cafe Du Monde tomorrow morning. So needless to say I’m not a happy camper this afternoon. Just thought I’d put that out there before I start my post so no one is confused about why I’m not writing like my normal cheery self.
Anyway my original plan was to pretend that the day they call a holiday that happens to fall tomorrow doesn’t exist while enjoying Mardi Gras madness. (what better way is there to be oblivious to the existence of something than over a hurricane or three?) But since I’m a tad surly today and this year unlike last year I won’t be whizzing down a ski slope in Colorado, I’ll go ahead and write about the reasons Valentine’s Day makes my toenails itch. Just to be clear, this doesn’t come from a place of bitterness about being single. I actually wrote about my feelings on Valentines day years ago on my blog before I had a blog…also known as my now essentially defunct Myspace page. Of course I was single at that time too, but I don’t really like Valentine’s day even when I’m in a relationship and here are a few reasons why.
The vomit pink and red color scheme makes me nauseous
..like seriously…it’s really hard for me to look at the card aisle this time of year
Valentine’s day can put a lot of pressure on the not quite defined barely a step above a regular booty call relationships I’ve tended to be in around this time of year if I’m in any kind of relationship at all.
Nothing more awkward than trying to navigate the vast grey area between the happy valentines day phone call/e-card/text message stage and the romantic get-away to Costa Rica stage. (*sidenote* the couple behind me in line at the airport as my Mardi Gras plans were being systematically destroyed had just had their Valentine’s vacation to Costa Rica that they had been planning for a year cancelled. God always has a way of putting things in perspective for me when I need it *end sidenote*)
The bevy of whack find a mate singles events this holiday usually spawns.
Okay maybe I shouldn’t hate on these too much. I’m all for any efforts to bring folks together in this crazy world. I’d try to catch one myself if I didn’t think it would be filled with guys with that “look at me I’m a loser and you must be one too cuz you’re here so I’ve definitely got a shot” look in their eyes.
Those mystery boxes of chocolate with no labels
Valentine’s day is always plagued with an abundance of random chocolates that often give no warning about the kind of miscellaneous goo hiding under that tempting chocolate shell. Until I wrote that sentence I never realized how similar those mystery chocolates are to men.
The pressure V-Day puts on clearly defined relationships.
The pressure is often even higher for people in well defined relationships to do something special for their mate on Valentine’s day. Usually the brunt of this pressure is carried by the men but, thoughtful female that I sometimes try to be, I’ve on a few occasions put in effort on this holiday. I think I did this in some kind of masochistic quest to show that women can make men feel special on this day too. If I recall correctly my Valentine’s Day efforts somehow bit me in the rear, possibly thwarting future attempts of this kind.
You can’t get a reservation in a decent restaurant because the love birds have taken them all
Dealing with the aftermath when cupid misfires
From what I’ve seen Cupid must have gotten his target practice while riding in a car full of gang bangers doing a drive by. And occasionally Cupids errant shots result in gifts from suitors that you’re not feeling in the same way they’re feeling you. On three occasions I have received flowers from guys I wasn’t feeling. I wasn’t unappreciative of the gifts I got from these guys. I actually enjoyed the flowers (even though I’m not much of a flowers kind of girl) once I got past the thank you very much for the gift but we can never be talk. But I could have just as easily done without the flowers to avoid the awkwardness.
Now I said Valentine’s day makes my toenails itch. I didn’t say I totally hate it. I just don’t think it’s been all that cool of a holiday since the days of exchanging valentines with a sucker stuck to them in elementary school. Despite the itchy toenails I actually do think it’s probably a good idea to have a day on the calendar to remind people not to take the people they love for granted. I just wish this day wasn’t coated in so much syrup or wrapped in that awful pink and red package. Id probably be cool with having some kind of anti-sap celebration with my SO if I had one. And who knows maybe when I’m truly in love it’ll come with a dose of whatever it takes to be able to stomach all the syrup. In the mean time I guess I’m stuck with waiting for the pink and red storm to pass.
*the Port City is Mobile AL, home of the first American Mardi Gras and also the town I was raised in.