Archive for August, 2009

Just when I thought I had seen the bottom of the barrel VH1 showed me that the barrel can go so much lower

Posted in television with tags , , , , , on August 11, 2009 by klysha

Every time I turn on my television I get more embarrassed for the entire human race. What must the aliens think of us??? I just had the misfortune of sitting through an episode of Real Chance of Love and I don’t have anyone to blame for sacrificing those minutes of my life that I can never get back but myself. I know it’s a sorry excuse but I was so busy on the net that I didn’t feel like pausing to look for batteries to put in my remote so I could change the channel or turn off the TV.

After sitting through it I’m just in disbelief that they actually off spun  a show with women competing for two rejects from a show  where men

lord help us all if this is what a catch looks like

lord help us all if this is what a catch looks like

 competed for a woman who was rejected from a show where women competed for a man who was a hype man for an early 90s rap duo/talking troll. Not to mention that this show was spun off from a spin off from a show about celebrity has beens. If this isn’t the bottom of the barrel, the bottom can’t be much further down.

The saddest part of the show wasn’t the women prancing around in next to nothing to get the attention of two guys who together share half a brain cell. Those girls will probably get lucrative porn careers out of the deal. The sad part was the girls who actually came on this show trying to show how much classier they were than the women throwing themselves at Real and Chance like being the classiest reality show strumpet is an enviable position.  

I’m not sure whether I’m more embarrased that these women signed up to publicly set women back 35 years, that VH1 gave them a venue to do this, or that I actually sat through an episode. I’m pretty sure it’s the third thing that embarrasses me the most. So I will try to right the universe and turn that experience into something for the good of society.

This show is an example of why we need more volunteers to mentor the youth. Growing up, these women obviously only had video girls as role models. We have to do our part to make sure that future generations don’t find themselves on a reality show modeling lingerie to a pair of half-wits only to be immediately rejected. We also need to pressure our community leaders to monitor the levels of lead in our drinking water because the levels were obviously highly elevated in the communities of every member of this programs cast resulting in the rampant brain cell disfunction on display throughout the show. Complacency has real consequences people!

I’m just trying to figure out which cause to start addressing first.

Top 5 potentially detrimental Facebook activites that must be avoided to keep the Facebook world a happy place

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on August 4, 2009 by klysha

Probably one of the most significant developments in the evolution of human interaction since the invention of the facebooktelephone is the explosion of social media. Never before have we been able to know more mundane and highly personal information about people we never actually (and in many cases have any desire to) spend time with. This, like every great development in life, comes as both a blessing and a curse.  While social media has provided an extraordinary means of reconnecting with all the people who made fun of you on the playground, it also provides a means to reconnect with all the people who made fun of you on the playground and comes with it’s own unique set of  ways you can royally screw up your life and or the lives of others inadvertently or deliberately with a few clicks of a mouse.

Whether social media will become a permanent fixture in our lives like cell phones or whether it will go the way of the party line remains to be seen. But since Facebooking  is clearly a part of the lives of millions of people for now I thought it might be prudent to provide a public service to my fellow Facebookers by sharing a few activities that are best avoided within the Facebook environment. They are listed below in no particular order.

Exhibitionism

Thankfully Facebook has a panel of decency monitors who make sure that Facebook remains a family friendly environment. This tends to keep this activity somewhat in check. But the monitors can only do so much. Just because your pics don’t violate the decency monitors rules doesn’t mean they’re a good idea. So think twice about posting that picture of you making it to third base with some guy you met at the bar, even if he was super hot. Not only do most of us not want to see that, but that picture becomes a permanent record in the cyber-world and is ripe to be used against you at some point in your life.

Cyberstalking

When I say cyberstalking I’m not talking about obsessing over the page of that Facebook crush you’re too afraid to actually friend but who just happened to leave his/her page public. (Not that I’d ever do that) As far as I’m concerned that’s a perfectly acceptable FB activity untilit turns into the kind of cyberstalking that clues your cyberinterest and all their closest friends in that you’re a psycho. Cyberstalking activities include things such as sending inappropriate email messages about what one would like to do to your cyberinterests toes or posting potentially embarrassing comments about wanting to be the bicycle seat your cyber interest is sitting on underneath pictures of their family vacation. These types of activities will not endear your interest to you no matter how clever and witty you think they make you appear.  

Engaging in Cyber beef  e-thug

There’s nothing more ungangster than a cyber thug. Posting thugged out wall comments and passive aggressive status updates does not make one appear hardore, but it might make people unfriend you.

  Posting drunken wall posts on your ex-boyfriend/girlfriends page

There’s nothing like two long island iced teas,  an apple martini and a tequila shot to make one feel like the most loving and lovable person on the planet. So lovable that it seems unfathomable that an ex love interest wouldn’t go ga ga over a heartfelt post on their wall about how you want to lick their eyebrows one more time. Sure a two AM drunk dial can have embarrassing results, but a Facebook post that will be shared with 345 of your and your ex-flames closest friends, associates, coworkers, and these days possibly their mother can be absolutely mortifying once you sober up and see the 35 post comment thread that developed before your ex could get to their page and delete the post. To avoid this temptation it may be a good idea to hand your blackberry over to a trusted friend before the tequila kicks in.

Carrying out relationship disputes

Continuing  the theme of relationships and beef, the combination of the two is never a good look in the Facebook environment. It’s always important to remember to think of Facebook as putting a  group of your old friends, new friends, associates, coworkers, and relatives into one room. Nothing that you wouldn’t announce at a dinner party composed of those people should ever be posted on Facebook. So please refrain from posting that your boyfriend is  a selfish jerk unless this issue is up for discussion among all your FB connections. Another ill-thought out activity is posting an angry diatribe about ones ex as a status or wall post. This is not only tacky, it also clues any potential future suitors who might be perusing your page in that you are a raging nutcase before they ever get to figure this out for themselves.

I’m sure there are some other activities that could potentially threaten the peaceful Facebook environment. Some of your friends could be engaging in them right now. Avoiding these activities can help to keep Facebook peaceful or it might be more fun to go post an ambiguously inappropriate Facebook status and see how many of your friends have a sense of humor. At any rate  if anyone has any additions to this list please feel free to share them.