The last time I went to a club this guy who couldn’t have been taller than 4’10” walked over to me and told me how beautiful I was. My initial reaction was “why is this miniature man talking to me.” Then I gathered myself and remembered that this guy couldn’t help how tall he was and therefore did not deserve anything short of the same polite response a taller guy would have gotten. I realized at that moment that deep down my natural reaction to men shorter than me is the same as those of women who are taller than me who think it’s perfectly acceptable to ridicule a man just for being under 5′ 8″ tall. This came as a surprise to me since I actually like, dare I say prefer, short men. At 5′ tall I barely clear the midget* threshold myself so what would I look like descriminating against my short brethren. Besides what would I do with an extra foot and a half of man.
Maybe women are conditioned by nature to seek out taller men (protectors) just like men might be conditioned to look for women with bigger boobs (child nurturers). I don’t know, but for some reason women tend to think it’s a violation of the natural order of things to date a guy who is shorter than they are. This works out well for tall men, but the shorter a man is, the shorter his end of the stick is in this arrangement. I think this arrangement is the cause of the chip that seems to be on the shoulders of men shorter than 5’6″ tall. This chip is also known as Short Man Syndrome or Napoleon Complex.
Short Man Complex is such an unfortunate reality for women like me who prefer the asthetics of a shorter man because underneath their short cuteness lies a multitude of scars inflicted by the women who have ridiculed them all their lives. Many of them have spent their entire lives either trying to overcompensate for their height or wallowing in a feeling of inadequacy. So I’m writing this blog entry as a request to women of all heights to show a little love to a short man today. I’m also asking that from this day forth we all agree to refrain from saying things to short men like the following:
“This ride requires that you be 6′ tall to get on”
“”When you grow another foot give me a call”
“Aww aren’t you cute!” (while patting them on the head)
Don’t do it for yoursef. Do it for the woman who will one day embrace this short man and have to deal with all the short man issues that you helped to create. If women can just agree to come together and create a united front, we can end short man syndrome now.
But on the other hand if it weren’t for short man syndrome maybe we wouldn’t have a lot of the wonderful things that their need to overcompensate have contributed to the world. Would Katt Williams(5’4″) be the funny elf** of a man that he is if he were more than 3 apples high? Maybe, but I don’t think he could pull off the perm as well as a taller man. Would Prince (5’3″) be able to find purple high heeled boots in his size to entertain us in if he were taller? Short man syndrome might be at the root of the works of Picasso (5’4″), Martin Luther King (5’7″), even Ghandi (5’3″). At any rate, just because there may be a silver lining on short man syndrome there’s still no excuse for the mistreatment that short men have had to endure over the years. So I repeat. Ladies please show some love to a short man today.
* I know that the politically correct term is little person. But the term little person is so non-descript. Since I’m writing about little people who don’t actually qualify as “little people” I went with the less acceptable term midget. Please don’t send me hatemail about my insensitivity. This blog entry is all about love for vertically challenged people! Incidentally as I wrote this post I watched the new show on TLC “The Little Couple.” They’re so cute!
** When I call Katt Williams an elf, I do it out of love.