Working out

Here’s a little background on my personal beliefs as they relate to physical fitness, and the use of gyms to attain this condition.

1) I don’t believe in paying to exercise.

2) I don’t think it’s supposed to hurt to be in shape.

3) I have an exercise equipment phobia (I also have an office equipment phobia but that’s another post entirely)

4) Commitment is not one of my strong points.

5) I think gyms are evil institutions that thrive by selling people some imaginary (and for many people unattainable) fitness ideal. 

Scary Torture Device

Figure A: Scary Torture Device

Figure B: Note unrealistic fitness ideal posing next to torture device. This tactic is similar to the deceptive practice of strategically posing attractive women on sports cars.

Figure B: Note unrealistic fitness ideal posing next to torture device. This tactic is similar to the deceptive practice of strategically posing attractive women on sports cars.

With all of that said, I recently joined a gym. Joining a gym of course makes me a big ol’ hypocrite so why, you might ask, did I join? 

The primary reason I joined is my inability to pass up a good deal. I was able to get the membership for a fraction of the regular cost by signing up through my employer. But of course even at the fantastic price it’s a total waste unless I actually use the membership.  Note that I did not say that exercise is against my beliefs. It’s just the idea of paying for it that troubles me. But for at least the next year I’m bound to do just that.

There were a couple of secondary reasons I joined the gym as well. I’m a couple of years over 30 now so I figured taking better care of my body should move up a couple of notches on my priority list. But more importantly the third reason I joined is gyms tend to attract guys….in shape guys….and I figured it couldn’t hurt to add a new place that has the potential to attract guys to my hang out rotation. Clearly the activities I regularly engage in don’t attract very many men.

So basically my logic behind joining a gym is ..for lack of a better term… flugazie. I don’t have any specific fitness goals other than a desire to make sure I don’t get dangly upper arms before my time.

I also have a goal of  not accidentally losing any weight. I don’t have much weight to spare. And all of my weight fluctuations up or down tend to show up most noticably in my butt and thighs. As a black girl it’s desirable that I maintain as much of those parts as possible without gaining too much in less desirable areas.

So I need to develop a fitness routine centered around those two goals.

So how is this whole working out thing working out you ask? Well so far I have set foot in the gym 4 times. Twice I ran on the treadmill. Not because I felt like I needed a cardio workout. The treadmill was just the only piece of equipment I saw that didn’t fill me with an overwhelming sense of fear and dread.  Hopefully tomorrow some of those fears will be eased because I made an appointment to get oriented on the other equipment. The third time I went to the gym I tried a yoga class. This wasn’t so bad except all the foreign sounding positions the instructor was calling out sounded like she was casting a spell on us. I also apparently haven’t mastered focusing because my mind was everywhere but in the peaceful place she kept instructing us to go. The fourth time I went in I never even changed into my gym clothes because I wound up joking around with some of the staff until I didn’t want to work out anymore.

So basically working out hasn’t quite worked out just yet, and my feelings about gyms are pretty much the same as they were before I joined. We’ll see how my session with the trainer tomorrow affects my attitude. And just to be safe I’m about to go bake myself some chocolate chips cookies to make up for any inadvertent calories I might burn tomorrow.

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2 Responses to “Working out”

  1. So how is this gym thing working as far as you getting to know some in shape guys? lol

    • yeah um….I think I will have to visit some other locations to do that…the only guys I’ve actually met so far are the one’s who work there…..and i’m not interested….

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