So what is swagger?

Some time ago I was asked by a friend why I had absolutely no interest in persuing the romantic  possibilities with a particular guy. Just saying I wasn’t attracted to the person didn’t satisfy the inquirer so I had had to dig deeper and figure out exactly what it was that turned all my attraction receptors off when it came to the person in question. While in this case there was a multitude of easily defined things that I could have listed that blocked all possibilities for attraction, there was this one elusive trait that the person in question lacked that I could not explain for the life of me. This elusive trait that the party lacked was swagger. But rather than clarifying things, saying someone lacks swagger only opens the door for a whole series of questions. Starting with “well what is swagger?” I have yet to come up with a clear explanation for exactly what “swagger” is. I just know that I know it when I see it. I also know that what constitutes swagger for one person is for another person the personification of lameness. That is why swagger is so freaking hard to define. Some people say that confidence is an element of swagger and I would agree with that. But it’s not the only ingredient. And once confidence crosses over to excessive (and or unwarranted) cockiness (at least for me) the “swaggerificness” of it starts to wear off. (Although I do like a little bit of playful cockiness in a man…but that’s a personal matter) For me confidence doesn’t always mean that the person is completely on top of every single thing all of the time. That would actually be intimidating. I like a little humanness and fallibility in a guy. Let’s me know we at least have that in common. I’d even say that a tiny bit of goofiness can be mixed in with my personal version of swagger. As long as the goofiness is mixed in with the right mix of confidence, cleverness, and intelligence  it can work. (okay and cuteness too but we’re talking about personality today) It’s just important that the goofiness doesn’t cross into lame territory. (of course lameness is another elusive term that by my definitions might actually be the opposite of swaggerificness) At any rate there is no clear definition for swagger.

I also have to factor in the fact that a person who I’d actually be interested in for the long term (and who’d be interested in me for real) probably has personality traits that are similar to mine, which would mean that their swagger would probably be completely off when they met me because their inhibitions would prevent them from properly acting on their feelings. Further complicating an already damn near impossible challenge.

Oh and girls can have swagger too. I’ve observed this in some women. Some women always look so blasted together and self assured that they almost scare me. Maybe because I know and accept that I probably don’t have that much female swagger. Or then again I have just the right swagger recipe for the person who like me has a complicated swagger recipe. I can’t be knocking myself because I don’t have another woman’s recipe. There is only one me and my recipe is pretty damned tasty if I may say so myself.

At any rate I’m writing this at 3:30 AM after having spent a night celebrating a friends birthday watching a male review. (Not exactly a good look if you’re single but I had fun anyway) I always get a second wind after I’ve been out if I didn’t get stupid drunk. I’m only two drink tipsy which results in me either being mentally stimulated or…. well….this blog is about honesty…horny. I won’t say which one I was tonight. But hey I stayed up and wrote a blog entry so you decide.

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3 Responses to “So what is swagger?”

  1. Steve Moses Says:

    Well well. How to define swagger? Hmmmm. Well as a young man who possesses what is commonly known as “swag”, it is easily defined. It is the inate ability to move through a room as if hovering on clouds.The talent to speak with a calmness so cool and refined that words flow from the lips like light breezes in spring. So relaxed and comfortable with yourself that you radiate confidence without having to utter a word.its the combination of style, inner beauty, intelligence, and grace that make people want to become familiar with you. As a poet and artist, and flawless wordsmith (pardon it is 4 am but I’m still amazingly on point) I have to possess “swag” to move my audiences and have the crowd eating out of my hands. Over the last couple of months my swagger has been on full-tilt, unbeknowingest to me but observed by my peers. Some gain swag by acquiring financial assets, but it seems to make most people I meet shallow. I must agree with Ms. Lysha in saying that too much swagger can be a complete turn-off. Many women who are loud, and arrogant are not my cup of tea (I’ve been called cocky before, but to those who actually know me and my heart, they understand that it is playful demeanor and that I would give them the shirt off my back, or the last dollar out of my pocket to get food, even if it meant I wouldn’t eat).I find it slightly comical that the biggest thing that attracts women to me is my self-assuredness, and that is the one thing I get criticized about the most, call it a gift and a curse. Although (and allow me to have a ummmmm how did she put itn A swaggnificent moment, my eyes and smile tend to melt them. However, a woman who has none-swagger, nervous in her surroundings, scared, is a complete turn-off and are usually deemed “targets”. Swagger is something you don’t have to say you have, people just know.I type this knowing that true swagger comes from being able to engage all five senses with the mastery of an artist. That perfectly timed poem, that glance that sends shivers up her spine and puts butterflies in her stomach.not obsessing over what another individual thinks of you. Taking solace in those accomplishments that no one sees or hears about. People can have false-swagger all day everyday. True swagger comes from a real feeling of self-worth, the belief that “its what’s on the inside that counts”. It can ultimately be what keeps someone interested in you, or what causes your mate to be a philandering infidel.its the truth about you, and knowing people should love you and like you for who you are. As I feel like I’m rambling and want to lay my groggy head down after a lavish meal and steamy tryst,I will say swagger is what will help all you lonely hearts close those wounds and start a new chapter in life. No one person can take your swagger from you, only you can do that. So love yourself, and others, be good to your fellow man. Treat your ladies with love and adoration, and above all respect. If she don’t have “swag”, help her develop it.if your man lacks that swagger, don’t shoot his ego down help him pick himself up. A kind word, a gentle kiss, a warm embrace can go a lot further than some gaudy gift or worse, brainless banter to your friends about how bad he/she is.In keeping with the ideals of this capitalist society, shameless self promotion and abhorrent flamboyancy, look for “EXODUS” coming soon featuring myself, Moziah with production by my genius brother D-Mo. Stay safe and God bless!!!!!

  2. I am writing you because I found your article interesing .It has been 4 years since you wrote the piece. I was just woundering where you where relationship wise. Im not asking for a date or anything along those lines. I was simpley asking to see if swager still mattered at this point in your life.

    • Hi Craig, Well It’s hard to say whether swagger as most people define it ever mattered to me. But in the sense I described the guys I date have to have a certain je ne sais quoi along with all of the other more important qualities that I value in a mate. It would take me too long to list those. And regarding the relationship question, I am currently in a very happy relationship with someone who happens to have that certain je ne sais quoi and a ton of other awesome traits as well.

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