So what is swagger?
Some time ago I was asked by a friend why I had absolutely no interest in persuing the romantic possibilities with a particular guy. Just saying I wasn’t attracted to the person didn’t satisfy the inquirer so I had had to dig deeper and figure out exactly what it was that turned all my attraction receptors off when it came to the person in question. While in this case there was a multitude of easily defined things that I could have listed that blocked all possibilities for attraction, there was this one elusive trait that the person in question lacked that I could not explain for the life of me. This elusive trait that the party lacked was swagger. But rather than clarifying things, saying someone lacks swagger only opens the door for a whole series of questions. Starting with “well what is swagger?” I have yet to come up with a clear explanation for exactly what “swagger” is. I just know that I know it when I see it. I also know that what constitutes swagger for one person is for another person the personification of lameness. That is why swagger is so freaking hard to define. Some people say that confidence is an element of swagger and I would agree with that. But it’s not the only ingredient. And once confidence crosses over to excessive (and or unwarranted) cockiness (at least for me) the “swaggerificness” of it starts to wear off. (Although I do like a little bit of playful cockiness in a man…but that’s a personal matter) For me confidence doesn’t always mean that the person is completely on top of every single thing all of the time. That would actually be intimidating. I like a little humanness and fallibility in a guy. Let’s me know we at least have that in common. I’d even say that a tiny bit of goofiness can be mixed in with my personal version of swagger. As long as the goofiness is mixed in with the right mix of confidence, cleverness, and intelligence it can work. (okay and cuteness too but we’re talking about personality today) It’s just important that the goofiness doesn’t cross into lame territory. (of course lameness is another elusive term that by my definitions might actually be the opposite of swaggerificness) At any rate there is no clear definition for swagger.
I also have to factor in the fact that a person who I’d actually be interested in for the long term (and who’d be interested in me for real) probably has personality traits that are similar to mine, which would mean that their swagger would probably be completely off when they met me because their inhibitions would prevent them from properly acting on their feelings. Further complicating an already damn near impossible challenge.
Oh and girls can have swagger too. I’ve observed this in some women. Some women always look so blasted together and self assured that they almost scare me. Maybe because I know and accept that I probably don’t have that much female swagger. Or then again I have just the right swagger recipe for the person who like me has a complicated swagger recipe. I can’t be knocking myself because I don’t have another woman’s recipe. There is only one me and my recipe is pretty damned tasty if I may say so myself.
At any rate I’m writing this at 3:30 AM after having spent a night celebrating a friends birthday watching a male review. (Not exactly a good look if you’re single but I had fun anyway) I always get a second wind after I’ve been out if I didn’t get stupid drunk. I’m only two drink tipsy which results in me either being mentally stimulated or…. well….this blog is about honesty…horny. I won’t say which one I was tonight. But hey I stayed up and wrote a blog entry so you decide.