Things that make you go ewww!

Okay why did I just read an article about PETA making a request to Ben & Jerry’s Ice cream that they start using human milk instead of cows milk in their products. Don’t believe me? Check out the article here? What in blue horseshoes and green clovers are they thinking at PETA? The fact that they encourage splashing paint on people’s expensive coats is evidence enough that PETAnites are cut from some special cloth, but this proposal takes the cake.

While I don’t think cows milk was really ever meant for humans, especially not grown humans, (I could write a whole blog about my feelings on that whole milk it does a body good conspiracy…but I’ll save that for another day) I do love me some ice cream. So much so that I am willing to risk a little lactose intoleration to consume some every now and then. Especially if it’s in the form of a Cheesecake Fantasy from Cold Stone Creamery…yum! But if I found out that the milk in my ice cream had been switched over to the fruits of Julie or Shanequa’s bosom I would probably spew my cheesecake fantasy all over the Cold Stone floor. Something about that just ain’t right.

So worth the risk of cramps and flatulence

I mean what does PETA propose, mass milking of lactating women shortly after they give birth? This is much more humane than milking Bessie the cow I’m sure.

On a side note this blog entry just prompted me to leave my house and buy a pint of Ben and Jerry’s (Only because Cold Stone is closed!)

Do we really want the fashion police?

I’ve been reading a lot lately about certain cities putting laws on the books banning young men from sagging

Misdemeanor or fashion faux pas

their pants. While this might be tacky from a fashion perspective, the rebel in me screams foul when I see the government trying to step in to regulate bad fashion choices. It’s being called indecent exposure, but exactly what is being indecently exposed? Generally when I see guys wearing this look their behinds are covered, and there is no legal mandate on how many layers of clothing must cover a body part for the exposure to be decent. So it looks like these laws basically come down to regulating taste in clothing. The people who I’m sure enthusiastically voted for these laws clearly feel that this look is tacky. But if we’re banning clothing styles just because they’re tacky I propose a list of styles that should be officially punishable by law.

1) Short sleeve button up shirts with ties (but then half my work collegues would be in jail)

2) Extra smedium shirts with too tight extra fitted jeans (on men)

3) Crocks and Ugs (even though I do envy how comfortable both look)

4) House shoes worn out doors

5) Sweat pants with large suggestive verbiage on the butt

6) Men with button up shirts open to the third button or lower when they have a chest covered with hair (actually this is tacky with or without hair..hair just makes it extra icky)

My list could go on and on…but even though I prefer not to look at these styles, I respect the rights of the wearers to display them with pride. We start to slide down a slippery slope as a society when we allow the government to step in and regulate our choices on matters as personal as what we choose to represent ourselves dressed in. So no matter how annoying it is to you when you see a young man wearing his pants around his mid thighs (and no matter what images of inmate culture or whatever other negative stereotype you might associate with it) just remember that part of what it means to be an American is allowing others to express themselves freely as long as it does no harm to others. Sometimes that means we have to suck it up when things other people do annoy us.

*****Just a thought…do the cities with these bans have similar bans on women who wear low rise jeans and thong underwear and allow the top of their thongs to be exposed? I don’t like looking at all of that either but I don’t think the offenders should be in jail.

Is this no less a crime than sagging jeans??

****Another thought…isn’t the legal system overburdened enough for us not to be putting extra laws on the books for acts such as this that hurt no one but the wearer….I mean can you leave the poorly dressed teenager alone and catch the dude who’s breaking into everyone’s cars please

So what is swagger?

Some time ago I was asked by a friend why I had absolutely no interest in persuing the romantic  possibilities with a particular guy. Just saying I wasn’t attracted to the person didn’t satisfy the inquirer so I had had to dig deeper and figure out exactly what it was that turned all my attraction receptors off when it came to the person in question. While in this case there was a multitude of easily defined things that I could have listed that blocked all possibilities for attraction, there was this one elusive trait that the person in question lacked that I could not explain for the life of me. This elusive trait that the party lacked was swagger. But rather than clarifying things, saying someone lacks swagger only opens the door for a whole series of questions. Starting with “well what is swagger?” I have yet to come up with a clear explanation for exactly what “swagger” is. I just know that I know it when I see it. I also know that what constitutes swagger for one person is for another person the personification of lameness. That is why swagger is so freaking hard to define. Some people say that confidence is an element of swagger and I would agree with that. But it’s not the only ingredient. And once confidence crosses over to excessive (and or unwarranted) cockiness (at least for me) the “swaggerificness” of it starts to wear off. (Although I do like a little bit of playful cockiness in a man…but that’s a personal matter) For me confidence doesn’t always mean that the person is completely on top of every single thing all of the time. That would actually be intimidating. I like a little humanness and fallibility in a guy. Let’s me know we at least have that in common. I’d even say that a tiny bit of goofiness can be mixed in with my personal version of swagger. As long as the goofiness is mixed in with the right mix of confidence, cleverness, and intelligence  it can work. (okay and cuteness too but we’re talking about personality today) It’s just important that the goofiness doesn’t cross into lame territory. (of course lameness is another elusive term that by my definitions might actually be the opposite of swaggerificness) At any rate there is no clear definition for swagger.

I also have to factor in the fact that a person who I’d actually be interested in for the long term (and who’d be interested in me for real) probably has personality traits that are similar to mine, which would mean that their swagger would probably be completely off when they met me because their inhibitions would prevent them from properly acting on their feelings. Further complicating an already damn near impossible challenge.

Oh and girls can have swagger too. I’ve observed this in some women. Some women always look so blasted together and self assured that they almost scare me. Maybe because I know and accept that I probably don’t have that much female swagger. Or then again I have just the right swagger recipe for the person who like me has a complicated swagger recipe. I can’t be knocking myself because I don’t have another woman’s recipe. There is only one me and my recipe is pretty damned tasty if I may say so myself.

At any rate I’m writing this at 3:30 AM after having spent a night celebrating a friends birthday watching a male review. (Not exactly a good look if you’re single but I had fun anyway) I always get a second wind after I’ve been out if I didn’t get stupid drunk. I’m only two drink tipsy which results in me either being mentally stimulated or…. well….this blog is about honesty…horny. I won’t say which one I was tonight. But hey I stayed up and wrote a blog entry so you decide.

Trying to balance my perspective

I don’t know anyone personally who admits to being pro-McCain. I do know of a couple of black Republicans, but I haven’t discussed this years presidential election with either of them so I have no idea where their leanings are given the dynamics of this election. Clearly my social circle isn’t diverse enough to truly give me a balanced perspective. So in an attempt to balance my perspective I am sitting here watching the Republican convention. But sitting through this is a struggle from beginning to end for me. Why does it look like this convention is filled with a bunch of simple yahoos? The cowboy hats aren’t helping.

***Aside: I just got completely distracted by a statement made by Joe Lieberman, a democrat (or former

What is up with this dude? And what's wrong with his lower jaw?

democrat or whatever) who is speaking at the convention. He just addressed the people who may have never voted Republican before and who never would vote for a Republican in an “ordinary election.” He said that this is “no ordinary election.” Now I’m just curious about what he really meant by that statement. He said this is no ordinary election because these are not ordinary times. What makes this election any less ordinary than the last election. In my opinion the last two elections were not ordinary. We were a nation gripped by fear and freshly embroiled in a war in the last election. That’s not exactly ordinary. The only real difference may be that in this election there is a chance that the nation will elect the first black man into the highest office in the country. Other than that it appears to be politics as usual. I’m not saying Lieberman is racist or anything….but um….he crossed parties to support a man that he only votes in alignment 5% of the time. 95% of the time his policies agree with Obama. Am I the only one who smells a rat? ***End Aside

As much as I like to write about it, I really hate politics. I hate the way that American politics gets boiled down to the lowest common denominator pitting Democrats and Republicans against each other in these ridiculous ideological battles over about three or four issues in order to mask the real business of the government. So because of my own disdain with partisan politics I don’t knock Lieberman for crossing party lines, but his motives are a little questionable. At any rate I have gotten completely off topic and now I’m too tired to write about my original topic. On top of that my perspective is probably less balanced than it was before. I will have to pick this up tomorrow. Dangit I will be glad when November 2nd has come and gone.

On a side note watching 24 hour new channels gives me indigestion. I am trying to gain 7 pounds and I don’t need television programming impeding my progress.