I’ll miss you Michael

As the whole world pauses to remember one of the greatest entertainers the world has ever known I sit over a week after finding out that he had passed still misty eyed, still in disbelief… I have been a Michael Jackson fan almost since birth and now he’s gone. It makes me so sad that it took Michael leaving this world for people to realize what a great gift he gave us all through his music. Never in my lifetime has an entertainer been able to make the whole world pause the way that Michael Jackson has. Everyone I know has a Michael Jackson story or special memory because his music has been a contributor to the soundtrack of the lives of two, three, maybe even four generations. Michael Jackson is the only musician that I know of that both my mother and I were huge fans of. She and I went to my very first concert together, the Jackson 5 Triumph tour in 1981. I wasn’t even 5 years old yet but I remember them singing Can You Feel It. That song still gives me chills to this day. I remember my whole family watching Michael Jackson on TV when I was a little girl and seeing my, then twenty something, mother screaming and crying like a those people you see on TV at a MJ concert. I’ve never seen her react that way to any other artist since…(and she will barely admit that she reacted that way then).

For the past 15 years or so, amist all the controversy, the world forgot just how wonderful MJs music was. I never stopped being a fan but I hadn’t dug in the crates and listened to just how broad his music collection was until after he died. Two days after he died I attended a Michael Jackson tribute party and I was just amazed at how many great songs he made that I had forgotten about. How many artists can you think of that you can throw an entire party playing nothing but their music and keep the party going for hours on end. I can’t name another artist that comes close.

To touch the whole world through not only your music but also your humanitarian deeds in only 50 years on earth is a feat that not too many can claim.  I hope that I can somehow in my life time touch just a small fraction of the people he touched in some way through something I do. I’m already 32 years old so it looks like I have a lot of catching up to do. I also pray that in watching one of the greatest pass away from this world a new generation will be inspired to not just be good at whatever they do but try be the best ever at what they do. And then follow that up by taking whatever gift they have and try to make the world better.  I know I am inspired.

Michael, if you can see us, know that even though we haven’t shown it in many years, so many of us love you and will always love you. I hope you’re up there teaching all the angels how to moonwalk.

Let’s End Short Man Syndrome Now!

Some womens worst nightmare is to put on their heels to go out with their man and look like this couple

The last time I went to a club this guy who couldn’t have been taller than 4′10″ walked over to me and told me how beautiful I was. My initial reaction was “why is this miniature man talking to me.” Then I gathered myself and remembered that this guy couldn’t help how tall he was and therefore did not deserve anything short of the same polite response a taller guy would have gotten. I realized at that moment that deep down my natural reaction to shorter men is the same as those of women who are taller than me who think it’s perfectly acceptable to ridicule a man just for being under 5′ 8″ tall. This came as a surprise to me since I actually like, dare I say prefer, short men. At 5′ tall I barely clear the midget* threshold myself so what would I look like descriminating against my short brethren.  Besides what would I do with an extra foot and a half of man.

Maybe women are conditioned by nature to seek out taller men (protectors) just like men might be conditioned to look for women with bigger boobs (child nurturers). I don’t know, but for some reason women tend to think it’s a violation of the natural order of things to date a guy who is shorter than they are. This works out well for tall men, but the shorter a man is, the shorter his end of the stick is in this arrangement.  I think this arrangement is the cause of the chip that seems to be on the shoulders of men shorter than 5′6″ tall. This chip is also known as Short Man Syndrome or  Napoleon Complex.

 Short Man Complex is such an unfortunate reality for women like me who prefer the asthetics of a shorter man  because underneath their short cuteness lies a multitude of scars inflicted by the women who have ridiculed them all their lives. Many of them have spent their entire lives either trying to overcompensate for their height or wallowing in a feeling of inadequacy. So I’m writing this blog entry as a request to women of all heights to show a little love to a short man today. I’m also asking that from this day forth we all agree to refrain from saying things to short men like the following:

“This ride requires that you be 6′ tall to get on”

“”When you grow another foot give me a call”

“Aww aren’t you cute!” (while patting them on the head)

 Don’t do it for yoursef. Do it for the woman who will one day embrace this short man and have to deal with all the  short man issues that you helped to create. If women can just agree to come together and create a united front, we can end short man syndrome now.

But on the other hand if it weren’t for short man syndrome maybe we wouldn’t have a lot of the wonderful things that their need to overcompensate have contributed to the world. Would Katt Williams(5′4″) be the funny elf** of a man that he is if he were more than 3 apples high? Maybe, but I don’t think he could pull off the perm as well as a taller man. Would Prince (5′3″) be able to find purple high heeled boots in his size to entertain us in if he were taller? Short man syndrome might be at the root of the works of Picasso (5′4″), Martin Luther King (5′7″), even Ghandi (5′3″). At any rate, just because there may be a silver lining on short man syndrome there’s still no excuse for the mistreatment that short men have had to endure over the years. So I repeat. Ladies please show some love to a short man today.

 

 

* I know that the politically correct term is little person. But the term little person is so non-descript. Since I’m writing about little people who don’t actually qualify as “little people” I went with the less acceptable term midget. Please don’t send me hatemail about my insensitivity. This blog entry is all about love for vertically challenged people! Incidentally as I wrote this post I watched the new show on TLC “The Little Couple.” They’re so cute! 

** When I call Katt Williams an elf, I do it  out of love.

The coverage about Sotomayors statement just rubs me the wrong way

Every time I watch television news I get more reasons to hate everything about politics. I can’t for the life of me understand why they are making such a big deal out of the statements made by Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor  in some of her past speeches. I even saw an article that said they are actually asking her to apologize for her statements about a wise Latina woman making better decisions than a white man. Why should she have to apologize for that???? Maybe a wise Latina woman would have a different perspective on certain issues than a white male that could lead her to make better decisions. Sometimes she might make better decisions sometimes she might not . Who cares? You can’t prove a statement like that anyway. I don’t care if she said it 20 times and meant it every time. A statement like that doesn’t make her racist. Prosecuting someone just because they’re white would be racist (and I’m using the definition of racist loosely here since it’s questionable whether a minority can even be racist). People of all races over use the term racist anyway. The same word can’t be used to describe people who hung people from trees just because they were black as the one used to describe someone who just spoke their mind. If ”she’s a racist” is best they can come up with as an argument for why she shouldn’t be appointed because she made that statement, they really need to get grip on life.

Maybe all this forced political correctness is just rubbing me the wrong way. What’s the point of free speech when every statement you make will be disected and held against you even when no one gets hurt by your words. My theory is the reason they’re making such a big deal out of is is the fact that a white man couldn’t make a similar statement about another race and keep his job. If my theory is correct I say tough cookies. That’s one of the residual effects of this countries racist past. Black people have had to live with far worse residual effects of slavery since the day slavery ended. So white men can’t openly express their thoughts about people of other races. Someone cue the violins.  When the residual effects of slavery were being passed out, white men got off pretty easy.  Count your blessings and be glad karma hasn’t swung around and made you pay for your ancestors actions.

 There’s a chance that it’s not just politics that’s the problem here. I would imagine that television news is at least partly to blame for my disgust about this topic. They always pick the most divisive issue and create a whole sense of drama around it. I hope that the people who are actually making decisions about this nomination (or any other important issue) aren’t as shallow as the news channels. Maybe I’m just overdue for my periodic break from all 24 hour news.

In the name of religion

I try to keep religious debates off the pages of my blog due in part to my own mixed feelings about the subject that I would rather not discuss or debate publicly. But the recent murder of abortion doctor George Tiller and the coverage of this incident really got me thinking about some of the heinous acts that get carried out in the name of religion. It absolutely baffles me the types of acts people will justify under a belief that they are doing what God would want them to do. The absurdity of this type of thinking and the sheer danger of these types of acts is incredible. I wouldn’t call myself a religious scholar but I was brought up in (and continute to attend) church and based on my understanding of God I strongly doubt that God is behind any of these extremist acts. By strongly doubt I mean I feel like the people who carry out these acts are misguided at best, but could most accurately be described as overzealous sociopaths.  

People have been hesitant to use the term terrorist to describe the groups that advocate violence against abortion doctors, but I fail to see the difference between the acts that they advocate and the acts carried out by the 9-11 terrorists. The 9-11 terrorists believed that they were carrying out the will of God by killing people that they felt supported views they found morally reprehensible. Anti-abortion extremists justify violence because they feel as though the are killing people who commit acts that they feel are morally reprehensible. Looks to me like the only difference is the scale of the acts. Is terrorism okay if it’s in the name of a cause you believe in?

How one can advocate life and murder in the same sentence is a mystery to me. I guess the same way people can be pro-life and pro-war or pro-gun in the same sentence.

It might be safe to say that religion, or the misinterpretation and misapplication thereof, has been at the root of more murders than any other source in the history of mankind. Then again that might not be the safest thing to say since some people will justify any action in the name of their religious beliefs. So let me be clear that I was not making those statements to condemn religion. As a side note I personally don’t think God himself even likes religion. But the religion versus relationship with God debate is a blog for another day on another persons blog. <end side note> I will, however, openly condemn overzealousness in any arena, including religion.  I most strongly condemn overzealousness when it results in heinous acts committed in the name of God. If you’re going to commit evil acts don’t blame your dirty misguided acts on God. That’s the biggest cop out on the planet since I have yet to see anyone successfully bring God into the courtroom to defend himself.

If 8 kids can’t hold a marriage together what can?

Last night I watched the season premier episode of my favorite reality television show, Jon and Kate Plus 8, and I actually shed a tear. I didn’t realize how attached I had become to that family until I saw them on what appeared to be the verge of their demise. I used to marvel at how Jon and Kate appeared to be this united front, beating the odds and raising 8 happy kids together. They had become my symbol of hope that the family can survive even in these crazy times. For those who don’t know, Jon and Kate Plus 8 is one of several reality shows on TLC showcasing the miracle of raising an enormous brood of offspring without killing anybody.  The couple got pregnant with sextuplets after already having twins, giving them a total of 8 kids.

In seasons past, the Gosselins appear to be just as much superparents as they were flawed and real individuals. They had all the normal challenges of parenthood multiplied by eight yet they seemed to always work it out. Despite all the stresses of raising 8 kids Kate managed to find the time to make them heart shaped pancakes from scratch on valentines day. I can barely find the energy to toss a pop tart in the toaster some days and I don’t even have any kids. 

Yeah Kate came across as a little bossy at times, but she had to run a tight ship just to keep her sanity with so many kids to take care of. Jon had a slightly more laisez faire approach to parenting. But this seemed to bring some balance to the household. I watched them renew their vows in Hawaii just a month ago and all was good with the world. But thanks to the magic of television last night I saw the once happy couple sitting 12 feet apart on a 2 foot couch* barely acknowledging each others existence. How could what seemed to be such perfect family be falling apart literally right before my eyes???

Okay I have to admit there were some signs. Last season I saw the annoyed glances from Jon that made it clear that Kate bossing him around was getting kind of old. And raising 8 kids has to take it’s toll on any human being. But I never expected to see him on the cover of a tabloid doing who knows what with who knows who. Now the rumors are flying. Kate’s crying on national television. And my favorite reality television family could be coming apart at the seams.

And its stressing me out!  After watching the show I actually had a dream that I set out to help them save their marriage. Unfortunately I woke up before I ever managed to do that. I barely ever watch television with the exception of this show and Jon Stewart, but I might have to take a break from watching them because I have apparently internalized their pain. This is why I don’t watch television. Either it sucks royally or it stresses me out.

Maybe the blogosphere is right about their allegations that this whole drama is just a ploy to rake in higher ratings. Higher ratings = more episodes = more money. And $75,000 an episode is nothing to sneeze at. They could certainly use the money to help fund 8 college educations. So I would totally understand if that was the case. But something tells me the tension I saw on that couch was real. Hopefully for the sake of their kids and the sanctity of my sleep they’ll go to marriage counseling and work it out.

* Thanks to my friend Cam for pointing this out.

When swine flew cable news was there to cover it

I  apologize for yet another lengthy hiatus between postings, but I just got out of quarantining myself from H1N1. I found out about the swine flu while I was on my layover returning from my vacation in Puerto Rico and based on the amount of coverage it was getting I assumed that Outbreak had come true while I was on vacation. I momentarily considered turning around and trying to book a flight back to Puerto Rico where most of the news coverage was in Spanish so I was completely oblivious to the impending pandemic in progress.

 People temporarily lost touch with reality over the swine flu for a minute. We got to see on an almost minute by minute basis how quickly a virus can spread from state to state and country to country. (Obviously not nearly as quickly as this viral email.)

Because of the panic caused at least partly by the frantic media hype, schools were closed*, people canceled vacations, and a whole population of innocent Egyptian pigs were slaughtered. Yet when put in perspective, for most people, swine flu probably only posed a minuscule risk when compared to their risks of catching any of the hundreds of other communicable diseases that no one gives us minute by minute updates on.  Imagine if we got a news update every time someone was diagnosed with tuberculosis, or AIDS, or any of the many other STDs. It would be a never ending update. Constant news updates could possibly have a positive effect initially of scaring a few extra people into using condoms…but eventually everyone would probably just get desensitized.

According to the latest update there are around 2254 cases of confirmed swine flu in the US. Comparing the swine flu stats to other risks (tuberculosis (13,224), AIDS (1,106,400), and the heebie jeebies** (724,998,976) ) and we see that the risk of catching swine flu only beats out the risk of getting hit on the head by a falling anvil by a small margin. Although frequent viewing of Looney Tunes would lead us to believe that risk is significantly higher.

All joking aside I don’t mean to belittle the significance of H1N1 that much, I just get a little miffed when things get blown out of proportion due to the mixed blessing that is 24-hour news coverage.

Thankfully most of the media coverage of the swine flu has died down, so now the 24 news coverage can turn to more pressing matters like Obamas choice of condiments on his cheeseburger.

 

 

* Okay I have to admit that my concern meter went up a notch when it was reported that a kid at a school just a few miles from my employer was infected. But mostly I was hoping that my employer would overreact and give us a week off work (I mean surely someone I work with has a kid at that school).

** Beware, most people infected with the heebie jeebies have no idea they are infected

Happy Earth Day! (What do you get when you mix Black and Green?)

In honor of Earth Day I wanted to promote the Go Green message and explore why going green hasn’t really caught on in the Black community.

I learned from Stuff White People Like* that white people like the following:

T-shirts

Bumper Stickers

Recycling

And since the go green message has been  spread primarily by way of white people wearing T-shirts, and sporting bumper stickers on their cars it would appear to the average non-white person that the whole  green movement is a decidedly white phenomenon that they need not participate in. Sort of like extreme sports.

 This is such an unfortunate misconception! I am a black person and I have been trying to make efforts to greenify my life for several years now, but I have noticed that not many of my peers have jumped on the green bandwagon. I  have a few theories, that I will discuss shortly,  about why this is the case.

Now to the casual observer I probably don’t look very environmentally concious for the following reasons:

1)  I’m black.

2) I generally don’t wear T-shirts with Go Green themed slogans (refer to #1)

3) I don’t have a Go Green bumper sticker on my car (refer to #1) 

I’m hoping that I can send the message that being greener doesn’t require that you be white, wear green message t-shirts, or even that you defile your whip with tacky adhesives. It is indeed possible for black and green to mix and be beautiful.

As I said before I have devised a few theories as to why the green movement hasn’t quite taken the black community by storm yet.

1) The Black community has a number of well known social ills to contend with so when a socially concious black person is trying to choose a cause to get behind, saving the planet generally doesn’t make the cut.

2) Most green initiatives appear to be a lot of trouble. Let’s take recycling for example. It’s easier to chuck all your trash into one container than it is to sort out the recyclables. Also a lot of communities still don’t have recycling programs that make it much easier to do this. Black people generally don’t go out of their way to do things that they can’t see an immediate benefit from.

3) A lot of green initiative appear to be expensive.

Example:

2 pack of Energy efficient light bulbs $ 8.98

2 pack of regular incandescent  light bulb $ 2.64

Which one do you think a budget concious black person is more likely to pick?

Of course in the long run the energy efficient light bulb will save money by using less electricity and potentially lasting up to 10 times longer than the regular light bulb.

4) A key reason I think going green hasn’t caught on in the black community  is the messengers for the cause  generally don’t look like or speak to us.  When black people think of environmentalists, images of hippies, hipsters, and other inexplicable white behavior come to mind.

 So given all of these barriers what should be done to make taking steps to reduce our carbon footprint more attractive to people of color?

To start I propose the following:

1) Steps need to be taken to make going green seem a little less like a white hipster trend….perhaps the term “Going Green” is a part of the problem. It’s catchy and short and can easily fit onto a T-shirt which automatically makes it attractive to white people. But it also makes it seem too much like a fad and not enough like a real lifestyle change.

2) Get more urban celebrities on the green bandwagon. This will help to make it cool among young black youth. Which in turn will make it even more cool among non-black youth. If we’re really lucky the hip hop hop image will make a shift from conspicious consumerism to conservation.

I heart Luda

I have to commend Ludacris because he is the first urban personality that I know of who has taken a stand to try to promote environmentalism. (On a personal note I luvs me some Luda).  Now how committed he actually is to living a greener life may be questionable since I’m pretty sure his raps still include a healthy dose of conspicious consumerism….but hey it’s a start and at least he was out there getting the message out.

3) Get more regular people who aren’t hipsters or hippies on board. Teachers, politicians, local business owners etc. It has to be made clear that being greener is not a white thing but an everybody thing.

4) And finally perhaps someone should create a dance craze that incorporates green initiative education in the lyrics. Maybe it will catch on like the electric slide, the Soulja Boy, and the Stanky Leg.

Until my proposals are put into effect here are some links that might help to spread Green education. 

Earth Day Network

15 Ways to Reduce Your Carbon Footprint

Reduce Your Trash to Almost Zero

Feel free to suggest other ways to make green the new black.

The dating minefield part I…Who should pay

I have been tragically remiss at updating my blog lately and to all who have been waiting with baited breath for my next entry I say breathe please! I really meant to post something but every time I sit down at the computer to type I wind up playing word games on the net. And to be perfectly honest it actually happened this time too. But I managed to type something between rounds.

At any rate today I want to touch on one of the many minefields in today’s world of dating.* In  a world where in a rapidly increasing number of cases women make more than the man they are dating who should pay for dates?

The old school had a simple solution to this conundrum**. The guy pays duh! But today it may not be so simple. It seems a little unfair for the guy to always bear the burden of financing activities when both people make money and both people have bills, especially in these tough economic times. But some guys still take pride in being able to treat their woman on an outing. But what happens when there’s a big financial imbalance leaning in the females direction. Should all dates be things the guy can afford? Is it emasculating for the woman to have to pay for the guy to do things that are outside of the guys budget? Do guys get offended when the girl offers to pay on dates? Should everything just be split fifty fifty? Should girls just avoid all of this and date up? (This of course is unrealistic for a lot of black women who want to date black men since we’d all be fighting for the same 11 available successful guys…but that’s another post entirely)

I suppose the answers to these questions vary from person to person. But it seems like it would be easier if there was some standard etiquette that everyone could follow just to make the whole process simpler. 

 I personally don’t think that getting to know someone should have to be a bank breaking process for either party. So I’m all for splitting the costs, either by going dutch or taking turns treating each other.  But a lot of guys don’t like to let the girl pay, at least not at first. Which I think is fine of course since letting the guy pay gives me an early gauge of  some of their personality traits. Are they generous, a cheapskate, the type that tries to impress you with their spending, financially responsible etc. Of course early dates aren’t necessarily always good gauges of future behavior since we all know we meet the representative.***

I’d love to get some feedback on this since I am one of the most clueless people around when it comes to dating and relationships.****

If only they were this easy to spot

 In the event that I don’t get any feedback I will make up my own list of rules. Maybe I’ll share them with the world in a future post.

 

 

 

 

*I think I might do a series on the dating minefield…but I might not…but in case I do this will be called part I

** Incidentally, somewhat against my will, I’m reading Steve Harvey’s book “Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man.” I wanted to find out what the fuss was about. I’m only on chapter 2 and in this chapter is the following sentence:

Know this: It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exchange for your time.

Is the old school on to something here??? Perhaps my liberal approach to dating does more harm than good in that it doesn’t allow the man to fulfil his primal need to be the provider. Feedback on this would be helpful.  

***This is all pretty irrelevant for me at the moment since it’s rare that things get much further than the text messaging stage with the guys I meet these days.  But I figure I’ll get back into the swing of dating eventually and I need to know the rules of engagement when I do.

****This of course doesn’t always stop me from giving my opinions. (I do have a policy against giving actual advice though to avoid bearing the burden of guilt when things go wrong. Giving opinions is a much less guilt ridden alternative when you want to impose your will into the affairs of other peoples lives)

 

Capitalism at it’s finest

The whole country is in a financial mess and all anyone seems to want to do is blame burn someone in effigy for it.   There has never been a worse time to be a bank executive or CEO of a multbillion dollar corporation. In a recent poll*, banking executives beat out crack dealers and peddlers of children on the list of most reviled professionals.

 

Stealer of homes, futures, hopes and dreams

 

Ambitious small business owner

 

It’s so unfortunate, and I really hate that a bunch of people are losing their homes, and jobs, and are unable to retire as a result of this situation. But let’s be real. People were buying fabulous houses that were doubling in equity every six months. HGTV had everyone thinking they were real estate investors. Jim Cramer had everyone thinking it was a good idea to bet the farm in the stock market. Jeans were averaging $100-$150 a pair. Something had to give!

Booooo Yahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

All the while our government was removing all oversight and accountability from the banking industry and the banking industry was merging and consolidating themselves into a handful of mega-financal Super Wal Marts. The result:  a handful of people with nobody watching them holding the nations economic future in their hands.

Given this scenario there could be a couple of different outcomes.

Outcome #1

Despite the lack of oversight, the banking executives responsibly manage funds by taking reasonable risks and experience modest but sustainable growth.

Outcome #2

Seeing the opportunity to rake in unbelievable riches by making a few tweaks in banking policies, the banking executives turn the banking industry into a gigantic roulette table and make outrageous bets with ridiculously thin capital to back up the bets.

So what do you think happened?

Welcome to Vegas Baby!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

So now our government is forced into an imposible catch 22. Sit back and do nothing and watch the economy fail or make hasty decisions to pump billions of dollars into the problem that may or may not help the situation.  All because the economy is dangling at the mercy of a bunch of companies that are “too big to fail.”

Perhaps that’s the heart of the problem. Why should banks be allowed to grow to a point where, if they should fall prey to poor management decisions and greed, millions of peoples finances hang in the balance? And if they are allowed to get that big why shouldn’t someone be watching to make sure they are doing the right thing for the people who depend on them? Why should our banking industry even be a part of the legal gambling racket that is the stock market? And why should people be fed the idea that they can make a mint just by sitting back and letting people play with their money? Maybe instead of fixing an obviously fatally flawed system someone needs to sit back and rethink the system entirely. Maybe capitalism as we know it isn’t so perfect afterall.  

There’s a slight chance that we all got too greedy, and the more money we had access to the greedier we got. But perhaps this economic crisis will serve as an opportunity for people to try to learn to live more simply, do more with less and learn to appreciate the little things in life. 

Or maybe we’re all just biding our time until they fix this thing so we can cash out our home equity to buy a luxury boat and some designer jeans to wear on it like the good old days**.

 

*Poll was completely unscientific and consisted of only one imaginary participant.

**By good old days I mean days that people other than me or anyone I know personally were experiencing, but that we were all dreaming about.

They say it’s just hair

On June 6, 1995 I made a decision that has changed my life for the past 13 plus years. On that day I sat in a beauticians chair and chemically altered my hair for the first time. It was two days before my high school graduation and to mark my transition into adult life I thought it was appropriate to transition from what I at the time considered to be baby hair to the grown up world of relaxers. I was probably the last of my peers to make this transition so I felt like it was a long overdue rite of passage that I was no longer being denied.

Fastforward almost 14 years and I barely remember what my naural hair texture is. 

When I was growing up the the deep and dirty south I was taught to believe that straight  was the right way to wear your hair…so by the time I was a pre-teen I was suffering through same the bi-weekly ritual that most black have girls suffered through at some point….. the dreaded pressing chair.

the hair identity crisis starts early

I believed that the only way to wear my hair was straight even though the hair that grew out of my head clearly was not straight. So I suffered through the bondage of burning hair grease in a smoky kitchen every two weeks just so I could enjoy about 24 hours of straight silky hair. And that was in the winter time. In the summer it was so hot and humid in Mobile that all that effort usually went to waste within 45 minutes of stepping out the door.  

The day I got my first relaxer I left the hair dresser feeling free. Finally I could wear my hair down for more than one day. When I walked in to graduation rehearsal the day after I got my first perm a couple of my classmates were in awe of my long straight newly permed hair. Most of them had only seen me with my hair pulled back into a pony tail.

creamy crack application

Of course the reality was that I wasn’t really freed that day. I only traded one form of bondage for another. Now instead of a bi-weekly holding my ear and trying not to jump when I felt the heat off the comb bondange, I was in creamy crack application every 6-8 weeks bondage.  All because I still believed the only way to wear my hair was straight.

 

After all of these years of textural alteration I would love to just go back to my roots and reacquaint myself with my natural hair texture.  Unfortunately a relaxer isn’t something that you can just reverse. To go natural I would have to either wait for enough new growth to come in and cut off all of the relaxed hair and go short, or I could keep the relaxed hair and press the natural hair until I have enough natural hair to cut off the relaxer. But either way it requires cutting off the relaxed hair and some wait time. Unless I shave my head…which is a non option.

I have numerous issues to overcome before I can take the plunge into naturaldom.

1) I don’t know how to take care of my natural hair. The last time my hair was truly natural (i.e. not getting pressed or permed) I was in elementary school wearing plaits.

2)  My mom and most of Alabama thinks its a little radical to wear natural hair….I know…that sounds a little crazy if you live in a more progressive area….why would wearing your hair the way it grows out of your head be radical….but in Alabama they haven’t quite embraced the natural thing yet….  my mom of course was the main one who didn’t want me to get a perm in the first place…right behind my grandmothers…neither of whom have relaxers…wearing my hair natural might be the first “radical” thing I do….if I do it….hmmm 

3) What if I go to the trouble to go natural then get bored and miss my straight hair…would that mean I don’t love myself or something?

4) I’m really afraid of cutting my hair short so I’d have to go with option B and do a gradual transition. But what if the hair at the point where I have two textures is weak and breaks and I’m forced to cut my hair short….and then I discover that I look like a 13 year old boy with short hair…and then instead of getting approached by attractive eligible guys I get approached by gay pedofiles….I’m tripping I know but it could happen!

Aside from all my issues I’m probably a perfect candidate for natural hair since I don’t like styling my hair, and I’ve never really taken full advantage of all the things you can do with permed hair anyway. I guess I need the right hair dresser who can teach me how to properly care for my hair to give me the push. Of course I would imagine that most hair dressers would have little incentive to push anyone to abandon expensive chemical treatments every 6-8 weeks. So what’s a girl to do?

There must be a support group or something I can join…Any advice????